girlfriends

I have always commented that I have more male friends than females. Maybe it was my character (more boyish, direct or even rough), maybe I find the male species easier for me to be frank with (I'm more wary if I'd say something wrong to a girl and hurt her feelings), and somehow I always just end up hanging out with guys, more than girls.

Seeking myself deep down, I put the barrier maybe because of unpleasant experiences I have with girlfriends. maybe because of a certain expectation we have for each other when a group of girls come together and call themselves 'best friends'. I probably was rather hurt or dejected then, which till today, I'd rather spend my free time with boys who mostly don't dwell on petty matters and just enjoy their company.

It is a fear I should overcome, with grace, detachment and courage. After all, over the years I have had many close girlfriends who deeply touched my heart, and still are.

Last night, I couldn't get any of the boys to have dinner with me, but I knew I wanted to spend it with friends I hardly see. So I called up two female friends of mine whom I used to work with and eventually became good friends with, we had dinner at one of the girls' house, and just catch up bit about work and things we've been up to. Though they're like a decade older than me, but I was surely grateful to have sisters like 'em who do look out for me, and advise me. We laughed, teased, cheered and it was just joyful to be together.

Later online, I got a belated birthday wish from my friend, Sheila, who's also like a sister to me: [edited]

Darling, Ah-gerl!
Happy Birthday!!! You deserve a really happy, relaxing, stress-free, loving day for a present from the Powers that Be.... (not me ah!) You are a very .... [self praise is no praise i guess, haha] I love you very much and wish only the best for you. I wish i could give u a BIG HUG right now... miss you girl!!! (getting all emotional nowlah!)

Take care of yourself and be good, ok?? I love you.

============== I miss you too!

It's a beautiful friendship when you know you are excited to see your friends. and to all the many girl friends who have touched my life (yes... many of you), I want to thank you for your love, your patience, your gentleness, your warmth, your laughter, most importantly, for being there.